THE WEBSITE OF THE ENCHANTED MEADOW DWELLERS, NEAR THE JELL-O MINES, IN A LAND KNOWN ONLY AS: 'HOME'. YOU'VE NOTICED THE HIGHLY-MOTIVATED CUBILCE INHABITANTS AS THEY MAKE THEIR WAY THROUGH THE METAL DETECTOR AND BEGIN THEIR ARDUOUS AND FUTILE TREK HOMEWARD. SOON, THEY'LL BE IN THE AWKWARD COMPANY OF THEIR MATE AND OFFSPRING/SPAWN. I'D STOP AND HEAVE A FROZEN OTTER CARCUSS IN THEIR GENERAL DIRECTION, IF IT SO PLEASED ME TO DO SO. YOU BETCHA' I WOULD! AND HOW! DAMN RIGHT!
THEM DERN POLYPS!!!
PARTNER IN THE FIRM
He was covered with more polyps than she'd
ever seen! Well...than she'd seen recently. I could tell that she wanted
to tell me something, something very big! "Denny, I've been
made full partner in the firm!" she declared.
I pretended to be happy for her. It was good news, but not the news for
which I had hoped. Luckily, I enjoy a firm partner.
USCHI:
"On my very first, or very second day as a full partner, I backed the Lexus into the briars and thistles outside of our office building. I was dismayed, disappointed and disgruntled. Denny insists that I was indeed gruntled. Still, I'm not so sure."
APRIL 2000
She rushed headlong to the foothills, to a place where no human eye had ever set foot.
LONDON, ENGLAND 1999 / 2000
( IMPERIAL WAR MUSEUM)
USCHI: "DOES WINSTON CHURCHILL
EVER COME HERE?"
TOUR GUIDE: "SIR WINSTON IS
DECEASED, MA'AM."
USCHI: "WE'LL
WAIT."
BERLIN, GERMANY--JULY 2000
TOUR GUIDE: "THE ALLIES NEVER
FOUND HITLER'S BODY."
USCHI: "I ALWAYS LOOK BEHIND
THE REFRIGERATOR."
STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN--AUGUST 2000
USCHI: "SWEDISH! HOW TOUGH
A LANGUAGE CANIT BE? I MEAN, ALL THOSE
LITTLE SWEDISH CHILDREN CAN SPEAK IT."
TRIP TO OHIO
(CINCINNATI)
USCHI: "IT'S HARD TO IMAGINE THAT OUR COUNTRY
WAS ONCE AT WAR WITH
THESE PEOPLE!"
DENNY: "HEY!, I'M FROM OHIO!"
USCHI: "I KNOW JUST WHAT YOU MEAN" (PAUSE) "DAMN THEM!"
(COLUMBUS)
USCHI: "DO YOU HAVE SNAPPY-CAKES?"
WAITER: "NO MISS, WE DON'T"
USCHI: "EVERYBODY'S OUT!"
ASHLEIGH STRUGGLES TO FREE HERSELF FROM THE SOFA'S GRAVITY FIELD.
Ashleigh
valiantly keeps her hind quarters anchored (Epoxyed) to the festive (if
not floral) billiard room couch. "It'll not go floatin' off into deep-space.
No sir! Not on my watch, it won't! You can rely on me."
Uschi's " Sushi Supreme Recipe! "